April, 2005

http://spamusement.com/view.php?id=200

So Shea wrote this post about band names, which has me thinking about the subject again. It is fun to try and make up band names. I used to have a ton of ideas for bands, all of which would have tailored their musical style around a previously chosen name.

Anyway, someone was playing some incredibly heavy music last night on KURE, which I didn’t expect. Also, I didn’t expect to like it, but for some reason Cradle of Filth was really hitting the spot last night. I mean, you can’t help but feel pissed off when you hear that music. Which is fun. Early in the show, the DJ played some Dillinger Escape Plan, which I think is a band name that I like. I mean, John Dillinger was a crazy bank robber, so any band named after him is obviously going to be totally badass. Also, Dillinger Escape Plan is coming to the Vaudeville Mews. I am so there.

I’m getting to the point, if I have one. Mostly, I’m passing time before my dentist appointment. I might listen to metal on occasion, but I am totally frightened of getting fillings.

Ah, yes, band names. This morning I was struck by the phrase Evil Thievery, which I think would have been a good band name for someone on last night’s radio show. If anyone wants to start a band using this name, they are welcome to it. The only stipulation is they can’t suck. And they have to rock out constantly.

I checked it out on allmusic.com to see if anyone was already using this band name, and here is what the search returned:

Evil Beaver
Badder Than Evil
Steve Aevil
Evil Mothers
Evilio Quintero
Evil Weiner
Hen-Gee & Evil-E
Evil Twin Brothers
Evel Knievel
Evil Stepsister
Thievery Corporation

Okay, so there are some obvious references to genitalia (real mature, guys,) but what the crap. I mean, Evel Knievel has a rock record? How did I not know about this?

I had to send out a policy memo at work. It seems worth posting here.

In accordance with Good Taste and All That Is Holy, I have adopted the following guidelines for jokes regarding Michael Jackson:

1. They were funny once.
2. They make me sad now.
3. Please stop.

In the future, this policy may be revised to also include other public figures, i.e. R Kelly. For now, though, make fun of that guy’s sorry ass.

Thank you,
Cedric Collins

I don’t really intend to turn this website into a clearing house for Ebay crap, but I like it when my friends make money. So, do you like Penny Arcade? Maybe you will like this fine Limited Edition Twisp & Catsby Cell Print. Gorgeous.

Here comes some pretty good advice from a pretty stupid man. Go to the dentist. Seriously. Also, if you don’t go, be aware that you will have at least one cavity for every year you don’t go. Which in my case is like 20 cavities.

Okay, six cavities. I have six cavities. That will be two appointments, three cavities on one side and three on the other. Also, my dentist may have said something about how every one of my teeth has some signs of decay in early stages. Maybe he was just trying to freak me out. Maybe it worked. Maybe next Tuesday I will be crying and spilling state secrets. Who knows.