walls are props

Trinity

Cedric — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 01:23:26 +0000

Later, when your teeth gave up their roots
Handfuls of hair signaled the sickness
The cancer grew

Did you regret seeing that first flowering fire
The shadowless glare of that second sun
In purple, green, and white?

Or did you think to yourself on your final bed,
I looked Shiva in the eye
And lived (for a while)
To tell the tale

The New World

Cedric — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 17:08:54 +0000

When he pulled himself up from the burning sand
Beneath palm branches, rum drink in hand
Nothing was ever quite the same
They say his body burned, but his heart remained
A phoenix in flip-flops – triumphant, tanned
A new world, a new man

Why fly back? he thought. Just to test my wings?
I’ll stay – conquistador, son of kings

Sonnet for the Apocalypse

Cedric — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 17:10:46 +0000

The plants are taking it all
Back. Gray-black bricks are crumbling,
The roof is about to fall
In. Small monkeys are tumbling
From tall branches and tangled
Vines. My innocent living
Room — where my brother wrangled
The dog, where our frolicking
Ended sprawled out on the couch —
Now corrupted by salt ash.
Sometimes, a bobcat will crouch
By the kitchen door, where rash
Rabbits like to fornicate.

Only wind moves through the gate.

Apologies

Cedric — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 17:03:09 +0000

This blog isn’t getting used. In order to justify paying for a website, I’m going to have to start posting something, and I’m afraid that might be poetry. None of it is very good. If you subscribe to the RSS feed, you might want to stop that now. This is your advance warning. I’ve done everyone a favor by stopping the automatic import to Facebook.

Cheers.

Design lacking

Cedric — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 21:38:37 +0000

I’ve got this problem. I don’t want people to think I’m a total fanboy. There are enough Harley guys with Harley jackets and Harley doo rags and Harley boots. I don’t need to be the Ducati version of that. Whatever it is.

But look at how most motorcycle helmets look:

And look at a Ducati helmet:

I mean, could you blame me for buying that? I need suggestions. I like simple stripes. Retro racing helmets are cool. Full-face is a must.

I really hate being sick

Cedric — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 16:57:31 +0000

Inspired by this post about hot dogs, I would like to make a list of things that, while not ideal, are better than having a running nose and a wheezing cough.

A book that is missing most of chapter 5
Lutefisk
Running into your ex-girlfriend while you are on a first date
Working on Saturday
Reading McSweeney’s on more than an occasional basis
Driving two hours to find out it was an early show
Accidentally biting into a whole peppercorn
Discovering the party is hosted by a canned beer fanatic
Blade: Trinity
Hot dogs that are slightly overburnt
June bugs
Jello salad
Cats
Internet Explorer 7
Mac vs. PC ads
Swisher Sweets
Skipping breakfast
Skipping lunch
Skip To My Lou
Marching bands
Standing in line for the bathroom
Caucusing
Lists of things
Board games
Icebreaker activities
Weak coffee
Ryan Air
Hair metal
Hair nets
A “coming of age” tale
Doing the dishes
Pretty much everything

I guess that last item makes it a comprehensive list, but feel free to add your own, anyway.

Well, this is different

Cedric — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 22:06:19 +0000

And ugly. But better. At least my feeds will work, now.

The 8th Wonder

Cedric — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:55:58 +0000

I just caught the young fellow who was bagging my groceries at Hy Vee as he slowly peeled back the plastic bag containing my portobello and poked at the gills with his index finger.

“That’s a big mushroom.”

Young man, you would not believe the wonders that await you in this world. Corn with kernels that are both yellow and cream in color! Watermelon with no seeds! Pizza that you have to take home and bake yourself!

Kid, I can’t wait until you discover alcohol that has been carefully hidden in Jello. Truly, it will blow your mind. Until then, please keep your finger off of my produce. I was thinking about slicing that mushroom raw into a salad, but I’m pretty sure, now, that I should cook it until it dies.

How to be the awesomest company

Cedric — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 05:07:21 +0000

Dear Cedric Collins,

Good news!

Although you originally ordered Standard (4 to 5 business days) shipping and handling, we have given your order special priority processing in our warehouse and are upgrading the shipping and delivery time frame for your order. Your order will ship out today and be given a special priority shipping status so that you can receive your order even faster than we originally promised!

Please note that this is being done at no additional cost to you. It is simply our way of saying thank you for being our customer.

[... stuff like order number omitted ...]

If you’ve enjoyed your experience with us, please tell your friends and family about Zappos.com!

Thank you!

——————————–
Zappos.com Customer Loyalty Team

Dear Zappos.com,

Done. And I’ll bet I like these shoes even if they don’t fit quite right.

Thank you,
Cedric

Open-mindedness

Cedric — Wed, 13 May 2009 20:57:04 +0000

I want everyone to watch this video. Seriously.

Open-mindedness
by totocacapouet